WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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Mit der Angst im Arm auf den Eiffelturm - Yogarocks

WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
INSERT INTO `wpyr_options` (`option_name`, `option_value`, `autoload`) VALUES ('_transient_timeout__popupally_setting_style', '1676034384', 'no') ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE `option_name` = VALUES(`option_name`), `option_value` = VALUES(`option_value`), `autoload` = VALUES(`autoload`)

WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
INSERT INTO `wpyr_options` (`option_name`, `option_value`, `autoload`) VALUES ('_transient_timeout__popupally_setting_num_style_saved', '1676034384', 'no') ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE `option_name` = VALUES(`option_name`), `option_value` = VALUES(`option_value`), `autoload` = VALUES(`autoload`)

WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
INSERT INTO `wpyr_options` (`option_name`, `option_value`, `autoload`) VALUES ('_transient__popupally_setting_num_style_saved', '18', 'no') ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE `option_name` = VALUES(`option_name`), `option_value` = VALUES(`option_value`), `autoload` = VALUES(`autoload`)

WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
INSERT INTO `wpyr_options` (`option_name`, `option_value`, `autoload`) VALUES ('_transient_timeout__popupally_setting_code', '1676034384', 'no') ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE `option_name` = VALUES(`option_name`), `option_value` = VALUES(`option_value`), `autoload` = VALUES(`autoload`)

WordPress-Datenbank-Fehler: [INSERT, UPDATE command denied to user 'jivahambpcyrocks'@'10.11.20.39' for table 'wpyr_options']
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Ich habe Höhenangst. Ganz schlimme und oft ist sie sogar unbegründet, aber Sie ist für mich real und bedrohlich. Beim Wandern in den Bergen zum Beispiel. Sobald sich ein Abgrund auftut, denke ich: ich falle runter, auch wenn der Abgrund 5 Meter weit weg ist und runterfallen praktisch unmöglich ist. Mein Geist macht es möglich. Ich sehe ich in solchen Situationen, wie ich abrutsche und hinunterfalle, unrettbar. Totales Kino.

Ein Traum – doch die Angst steht im Weg

Anfang Juli wollte ich mir einen alten Traum erfüllen und auf den Eiffelturm zu steigen. Ausgeblendet habe ich dabei, dass er 324(! )Meter hoch ist und so richtig bewusst wird mir das auch erst auf dem Weg auf die zweite Ebene. Bis dahin kann man noch zu Fuß Treppen hochlaufen. 115 Meter ist die zweite Ebene hoch…. nicht mal die Hälfte bis ganz nach oben. Auf den letzten Stufen ist mir schon ganz anders. Unwohl und die Angst ist wieder da. Angst runterzufallen, unrettbar.

Blick erste Ebene

Was, wenn die Gitter nicht halten, oder eine Treppe plötzlich abbricht, oder jemand die Pfeiler durchsprengt. Mein Monkey Mind auf Hochtour, ein Thriller im Kopf.

Mit innerer Überredung schaffe ich es auf die zweite Ebene – zum Glück ist sie weitläufig fast schon gemütlich. Der Ausblick der Hammer. Weit über die Stadt. Wahnsinn was Menschen alles erschaffen können. Ehrfurcht vor Herrn Eiffel, der diesen Riesenturm gebaut hat.

Ein Blick nach oben. Mir wird schlecht. Unfassbar wie hoch er ist – da rauf? No way.

Eiffelturm Paris
324 Meter ist der Eiffelturm hoch. Da rauf? No way!
Tatsachen schaffen und die Angst überwinden

Meine Angst steckt meinen Sohn an, das will ich nicht und nehme allen Mut zusammen. Schaffe schnell Tatsachen bevor ich es mir anders überlege. Nach ganz oben kommt man nur mit einem Fahrstuhl. Einmal drin gibt es kein zurück mehr. Also weiter, das Kopfkino leiser gestellt und 3 Tickets für uns für diesen Fahrstuhl gekauft. Ganz vorne gewartet und eingestiegen. Auf Autopilot, gehandelt ohne es wirklich bewusst zu tun, aber ich wollte es unbedingt und zurückgehen ohne ganz oben gewesen zu sein ist keine Option.  Als sich der Fahrstuhl in Bewegung setzt, steigt die Panik in mir hoch. Neben mir stehen zwei dänische Mädchen zirka 3 und 6 Jahre alt und fröhlich vor sich hinquatschend.

Zusammen Mit der Angst fahren

Mir wird klar: Ich habe jetzt die Wahl. Ich kann volle Panik schieben, mir wieder vorstellen, wie ich den Turm runtersegele oder anfangen zu grinsen und mich über die schöne Aussicht freuen, die wirklich bombastisch ist. Über dieses unfassbare Bauwerk, das mich fasziniert. Die Angst ist da und sie bleibt. Ich versuche Sie nicht mehr wegzudrücken, sondern ich nehme sie mit. Nehme Sie an und sage mir innerlich:

Es ist okay. Es ist okay Angst zu haben, aber ich muss nicht wegrennen. Es ist okay Angst zu haben aber ich kann mit ihr gehen bzw. fahren. Nach ganz oben.

https://youtu.be/FO8tyDMw5V4

Oben angekommen gehe ich staksig. Langsam, vorsichtig, unsicher. Und dann bin ich Stolz. So ist es also die Angst zu überwinden. Ich trage sie im Arm und freue mich riesig.

Paris Eiffelturm
Paris Eiffelturm

Zu diesem Beitrag wurde ich inspiriert vom Blogazine www.fielfalt.de, die zu einer Blogparade zum Thema #wages aufgerufen haben.

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